I’ve been asked so many times already how I have found going from 1 to 2 children! In all honesty I’ve found it easier than I thought it would be. We have good days and we have bad days! But I find on the bad days it’s just finding a way to adapt and not to worry if everything doesn’t get done! Don’t get me wrong I am honestly pulling my hair out and at the end of my tether some days when Babs walks in from work though! When Laide was born Lola was nearly 2 years 4 months. Is this a good age gap!? In all honesty I don’t really know but I love it (most of the time)!
Routine
Anybody that knows us will know we have no real routine and never have with Lola. Laide has slotted in with this perfectly! I would like to say i’m organized but i’m really far from it! Usually it’s just before we are walking out the door that I throw more nappies in the changing bag and not until we are in the car that I decide where we are going. I’ve found at the moment that Laide will often sleep most of the morning so I try and make the most of doing bits like shopping in the morning!
Lola doesn’t start pre school until September so I think then we will have a little bit of a routine. At the moment we just take each day as it comes! Both girls are happy with this and it means I can adapt our day depending on how they are feeling/behaving.
Lola’s behavior
The biggest part that I’ve struggled with is Lola’s behavior. It really has changed. A lot. Initially I thought it was down to the fact we had so many changes; moving house a couple of times and becoming a big sister. It turns out that friends who have children the same age are going through exactly the same so I’ve put it down mostly to being a toddler with the additional added changes!
Lola has suddenly become a runner! I’ve always been lucky that she would never run off but now suddenly she will see something she wants and she’s gone! She won’t listen and nothing can stop her. It’s like she is determined. Thankfully we now have a buggy board and we frequently use our microtrike (see a post coming soon about it!) so we have a bit more control over her. Lola has also lost all ability to listen! You can ask her to stop and she will look at your sneakily and either carry on or just shout back! Thankfully she is already starting to get a bit better but I know we have a hell of a lot more to come! I do think that it is another thing that will change slightly once she is at pre school.
Tandem Feeding
Most people know Lola still breastfeeds but thankfully she’s been absolutely fine since Laide arrived about Laide feeding as well. She even tells me to hurry up sometimes as Laide wants “boobie”. Lola feeds most mornings and every evening but that’s it, she only really feeds in the day to go to sleep for her nap and that’s only if we are at home. In the evenings I try and make sure that Laide has fed a lot before I start putting Lola to bed so that Lola gets a chance to feed by herself and we get that bit of time just the two of us.
I have found that I do sometimes have an aversion to feeding Lola some days it’s worse and I do feel guilty for it. However apparently it can be perfectly normal during pregnancy or once the second baby has been born!
Nighttime
Lola has always gone to between 8.30 and 10pm. I know a lot of people criticize this but it’s what works for Lola and us. Generally in the evening we have a shower Lola, Laide and I (we don’t have a bath at our house) and then whilst Babs is getting Laide dressed and ready for bed I usually feed Lola to sleep. Once Lola is asleep I then take Laide and feed her to sleep. Lola’s sleep is so hit and miss she goes to sleep in her bedroom and often comes into us in the night. She either sleeps through or wakes once or twice a night. Laide usually feeds at about 10/10.30 and then she either sleeps through or wakes up only once for a few minutes!
As Lola ends up in with us most nights this was a huge concern during pregnancy about what we would do once the baby arrived! We thankfully managed to get an ex display Next to Me Crib on offer in Mothercare so that we could attempt to get the baby in it as much as possible! I don’t even have the side down on it because I can easily transfer Laide and she stays asleep happy in it! It really doesn’t matter then if Lola ends up coming into us.
The Bond
Already there is such a strong bond between Lola and Laide! Laide’s first smiles were straight at Lola. If Lola is mucking about next to Laide we always tell her to be careful but Laide instantly starts smiling at her as if to say carry on! Lola really hasn’t shown any jealously towards Laide. She really does absolutely adore her. Lola is constantly trying to help me do everything! Whether it be changing Laide’s nappy, changing her clothes or just generally making sure she’s ok! If Laide is crying Lola will always sing to her and try so hard to settle her.
I will be doing more posts in the future about being a parent of 2! Things are obviously going to change and we will come across more challenges
Naomi xx