*This is a collaborative post* Every couple hopes that their relationship will stand the test of time. However, this isn’t always going to be the case. In reality, nearly half of all marriages will end with divorce. That’s unfortunate and if your relationship does end, it’s important to know how to address it the right way. This is particularly crucial if you have children. So, with that in mind, let’s explore some of the steps that you can take to help your child understand a divorce and ensure that it doesn’t drag them down emotionally.
Don’t Baby Them
First, you should make sure that you aren’t babying your children. Kids are often wiser than their years these days. If you have older children, then you need to make sure that you are treating them more like adults and less like children. They will appreciate this. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you don’t need to go into the ugly ins and outs of why your relationship failed. Keep it as simple as possible while following one simple, clear rule.
Tell The Truth
Make sure that you are telling your children the truth about your divorce. Don’t fall into the trap of changing details to make yourself sound better. If you do this, then your children will end up with two different stories and they’ll struggle to understand which one they should believe and which one needs to be ignored. It’s best to sit down with your partner and ensure that you agree to tell them the same thing. Sometimes avoiding blame completely is the best option here.
Talk To Them Together
When you get a divorce, it’s something that you want to talk to your kids about together. You don’t want one parent having to break the news to your kids because that’s not fair, so you need to stand strong together and let them know what is going on. You can hire family law solicitors to get all of the information that you need before you talk to them, but the important thing is that they are being kept in the loop, and that you are both saying the same things.
The last thing that we want to mention is that there should be no negativity when speaking about the other parent. Any disputes that you have should remain between you two, and should not be offloaded onto the children in any way, shape or form. You need to let your kids know that you both love them, that you are both there for them, and that this will continue to be the case, even though you are no longer together.
We hope that you have found this article helpful, and now see some of the things that you can do to help your kids understand a divorce. It’s not going to be easy, they are probably going to ask some tough questions, and you might find it super uncomfortable to talk about this with your kids, but it’s got to be done. They need your support now more than ever, so make sure that you are there to give it.